Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Breast Of Friends!

Off we went to breakfast to meet The Dick & Jane Gang, leaving MakLayLay at poolside with a Bloody MaryLay.  KT wanted me to meet them for breakfast before we went out on our ride for the day because they have Flats too!!! Dick & Jane show up at the coolest places here! They even have a car!

Dick & Jane with their VW

Dick & Jane Gang
I'm at the head of the table
After eating we rode with them for awhile and ended up in the canyon at Cooks Corners. We spotted David and his buddy on their baggers. I heard all about David’s bike being in Baggers Magazine. The license plate really made me a proud Flat to meet him.  
Me & David G.

Done with the biker ritual socializing, it was time to get back on the road again, and after a few moments of shuffling things around in the rear of her bike, KT pulled out some junk in her trunk and turned around and shouted, “SURPRISE”! There she was standing with an awesome tricked out trike. She told me she rented it from ACME Renta Trike For Flats! All custom, with screaming pipes.  Move over David, just kidding bro...

Even though I didn’t mind, riding behind KT Did‘s ass, I really wanted to check one of these out. My legs were feeling a bit stiff, so we did a couple of minor mods with tape, and I also had to wear a brain bucket…
Before & After
Packing It In Behind KT and ACME Renta Trike For Flats (with mods)
Helmet Mug Shot
 When we got back to the digs, MakLayLay came out to greet us. She looked just beautiful after a day in the sun. I showed her what I got and she wasn’t too happy. She couldn’t go riding cause she didn’t bring her biker clothes. KT just curled her lip up at her and called her a “whiney hulaylay” under her breath., “like she would ride anyway”, she said. I still don’t think KT likes her much, but she is still okay with her. Can't blame her when she was only expecting me. She gave her a drink and handed her the remote. The OC Housewives were getting botox and she wanted to know all about it. So KT and I went out and relaxed before we ended the day.

I woke up the next morning to KT yelling “KSU time“! Grrrr…..I thought she hated getting up early! Helmet on, we went up the canyon and onto the side of the road to take photos of the riders coming in for a breast cancer awareness ride.  My favorite kind of event! I got to enjoy my V-8 and donuts with KT in the morning and listening to her talk of how she wants to meet all her blogger friends. It was nice sitting on our trunks eating our junk waiting for the ride to come by. Just a couple of trikers hanging out roadside...

The ride from AFHD along Santiago Canyon

Lynda W.
Me & Lynda saying hello
Her friend Lynda pulled over when she saw me. She couldn’t wait to meet me and put me in her breastessesss and she gave me those big girls hug! I am trying to be a gentleman biker around these chicks, makes a flat want to cry.  Except KT may be on to me a bit, I don't think the others know about my past yet.  Don't be a rat on Flat.

All day long at Cooks we partied and had fun. I met Joy and Karlene and their gang, Lauren the body builder, Roy & Carolyn, the bartender, some great tattooed chicks, and of course Lynda. Even met Steve who made my Jack Shit t-shirt. Every time I turned a flat head I met someone. I got to watch a fashion for asses show and watched the wet t-shirt contest too. KT said since I had to stay and watch that… she would have to stay to watch the fireman’s hot bod contest too. Disco & Lauren compared bellies and an old guy got nearly naked on stage… kinda something I would like to forget…sshhhhshhh, don’t tell KT, I think she wanted to see what she had to look forward to… sad to see her face when that all happened . All she could say is “I have to blow that one out on a ride”! Think she said it a few times too…. Here are some more pics of my girlzzz.

I tried to drink a beer but KT took me away from it after awhile...

After a day in the hot sun, I wondered why I wore laminated jeans. Just doesn’t feel good after awhile. I was getting all sticky and decided to tell KT time to go.  So after a day of auctions, celebrities, watching T & A, seeing Disco fall off the stage, and giving to the Susan G. Komen Foundation for the best place to lay my Flat head…its time to get outta here.

We get to the trikes...  “Hey Girl!”, KT says smiling. “Flat, meet Marilyn MonRoad”, a good friend of mine, she belongs to the BBB Doll Gang” (Biker Bitch Barbies). “I read your blog and wanted to meet you”, she says. I stood there and couldn’t move my legs, or my arms, … I felt like a flat man waiting for a lamination melt down. I was wishing I had VD or Willy D around at this moment for some man junk talk.  KT had to shove her boot at me to snap out of it. “Nice to meet such a beautiful doll", I say.  KT then tells me we are all going over to the house and MonRoad is riding with me.
Marilyn MonRoad

KT just smiled with that shitty grin she makes, and off to the house we went without a second thought of what might lie ahead…


  1. Whoo hoo! Looks like a lot of fun!

  2. Flat....your life is tits. Just tits man.

  3. Nice of you and your new friends to stop by yesterday! Wooley looked so handsome in his tiedye shirt! The blond b---h wasn't that friendly. I think she was jealous of the attention I gave to Wooley! love Wild Val

  4. Yes, he likes the tits and is having fun! Wild Val you were lucky... he liked you and your place and the Rabbit! He's never seen a bitchen kitchen like yours or a hippy pad at all! He will tell it all in his next post! :)

  5. flats got the life for sure! look out maclaylay...

  6. What a life you've got Flats! Surrounding yourself in all that breast-tacular love...I'm green with envy brother.

  7. Flat, Flat,Flat,
    you just jump in hand an...d foot don't ya. Nice and safe "behind" KT Did there for sure. Cool trike for you to be riding around on and all the great people your meeting. You have GOT to be having just the Breastest time. That Hippie chick makes a nice fit for you, tell us more.

  8. Wow, I missed alot here. Flat're a whore dude. I gotta' find a way to get as flat as Flat so I can join in on the breast Fest.