Where's Flat!

Is the dude hibernating?

travelin man

i hated having to leave bob and this crazy thing city peeps around here call a daily commute, but, had to do it. ive got a few pics to throw up, where we've been, what we've been doing, but time is moving faster than can be controlled. so, while ms m is dealing with the best of the worst of her fiscal year end processing and inventory at work, i knew it was time to be on my way.

here's the last pocket ride with ms m for now.

rolling on to the next destination, and im digging the journey!

Lets Roll

As terrorism unfolded in a series of attacks on September 11, 2001, the lives of many would never again be the same. To quote Boston air traffic control to NORAD; “This is Real World, not an exercise".

Understand and appreciate that we all share the wind. Be thankful, grateful, for each and every new day that we share here in this place. It’s because of real hero’s that we are still here.

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other”. ~Mother Teresa

Join us. Share the wind with Bob, Ms M and Flat on this very tragic anniversary while we ride. Share a moment or day of silence.

We shall never forget.

ms m, all work and no play, this place sucks

geez, ms m, only one day off a week? and she says sundays are for me. i think she's nuts. and she's really making me work...pfffttt! (or maybe its her hell-raising sidekick cinco's doin'). so check this out... they made me go to dmv!

then i had to pick up her car from the shop. something about a dribbly rear end, dead o2 sensors & leaky brakes. hey did you know she rides just about every day? so i had her car, and i can say, this bay area traffic sucks!

then we went to this restaurant she hung out at as a kid "Dicks". (click here) something about a video?...and some talk about dedicating it to those who went to sturgis this yr?!?... im starting to think everything she says has dual meanings? ;)

then her designated driver and i had to sit by and watch while she and her girl friends got obnoxious at a SF wine bar. they passed me around and around and forgot to take pictures, damn drunk chicks! they even got the band pissed at them and went wedding crashing next door, LOL!

but hey when she's got chicks like this around, i really cant complain...

then she sent me to a leather class, again more work but at least i got to shop for cool stuff. so i brought her home a wall to wall rabbit rug and house size torino leather. aren't they huge?! i wanna see what she does with them.

and she made me cook another vegan dinner. it was good, what can i say...im an excellent cook! and she's looking/feeling great! but i think this chick needs some meat in the house :) ummm im getting hungry, hey 

where's maclaylay?

ms m, listen we gotta talk. it sure is comfy here, i love ya and all, but im tired of this all work and no play shit. im thinkin i need to find peeps that dont work so much. call me when its drag night or bodie, til then i think i gotta roll.

ms m's place, wtf!

knock knock, ms m? ive arrived :D 

holy shit! dude! is this how you greet people?

dont tell ms m, i don't wanna give her ideas, but im thinking shes making me earn my keep. what is this calif cuisine shit?

pffftt, she even made me work. she keeps saying gas aint cheap.

and now look, maclaylay is wanting to go for a spin! all these biker chicks are starting to wear off on her...

oh shit, its that cinco dude again! damn what kind of crazy place is this?!?...

Flat and Wooley Free Once Again... Rolling Out Tomorrow!

LayLay is at the door to greet us. I didn’t know how to react when she greeted MonRoad with open arms, after all, two dolls in the same house! Inside drinks were waiting. She even made an extra one for MonRoad. Before I knew it, LayLay was all over MonRoad about where she got her beautiful plastic lip smile. Too much TV I think. I felt like I was being left out flat! KT just stood there and said surprisingly, “this wasn’t suppose to turn out this way….”

KT and I made an exit and with our drinks, went out to wipe down the bikes.

In just a few short minutes Bouncer Duck came in to get us, quaking there’s a “mutha flater cat fight”. I took my stiff legs and ran out and there they were all over each other. All I could think of is, “They are fighting over me…OVER ME--YES!!“ I felt like a proud Flat all of a sudden. Never had two dolls fight over me.



I tried to help stop it, but...



I got wiped out by the paper hula skirt...

 KT went over to break it up. She’s known MonRoad for a couple of years now and never seen this side of her. “What the hells going on!”, KT shouts. “She’s got bigger olives than I do!“, MakLayLay said.



Bouncer Duck agreed... she does!

In seconds, I went from flat to flatter. I kept my head up though… didn’t want to look down and see my flatness so I said I had a long day and off to the card I went while the chicks made up and partied. I had nightmares of never getting blown up again…that’s just between you and me though. Remember, What happens on the Flat roads… stay on the Flat roads….


The result of too much drama after a great day of riding

MonRoad wanted to take me around OC and she wakes up early too., so we ditched out early. KT doesn’t like to get up early anyway.



Angels Stadium



The Grove



We visited the Wild Val villa.

  

Planes



Murray



A little romance on the bridge



We went to a concert



Wild Val in her lounge chair.  She just loved me!

  

In new I was in the right joint!



The turtle even checked me out



At the beach with my new buddies from Arizona


 

Laguna Beach with my chick of the day





Hell Yea!

  

Nice break



I got a warning to put my helmet on.  I tried to get away with it by being a flat...didn't work.


We got home and MonRoad called it a goodbye. After all, she is a biker chick and had roads to ride of her own. So she called Phil Throttle and off they went. Watching them ride off together got me into thinking it was time for me to take the flat road to the next stop too.



Waiving goodbye in the background. 

 I packed LayLay away in our card and asked KT to send me on… like the gypsy flat biker I am…I am ready to move on and discover the world.

I had a great time with KT and I know she had a great time with me. We both learned lessons this trip. Mine was, every chick wants me in their bra, and KT said she was wrong about LayLay and didn’t mind her after all. She actually respects her. KT realized LayLay accepted my flatness, my flat and wooley free lifestyle, and MonRoad’s road friendship… all through the love of riding the flat biker style. What could be better for a roving biker dude like me!  LayLay whispered to me later that KT thought she would be a really good ol’ lady. I don’t know about that… I still want to be a bachelor and still have visions of Wrench Wench in my flat head thanks to the VD gang. I may have to revisit KT if that issue ever comes up….

Until then,
I’m Having a Happy Flat & Wooley Free Road Trailzzzzz Trip!

The Breast Of Friends!

Off we went to breakfast to meet The Dick & Jane Gang, leaving MakLayLay at poolside with a Bloody MaryLay.  KT wanted me to meet them for breakfast before we went out on our ride for the day because they have Flats too!!! Dick & Jane show up at the coolest places here! They even have a car!


Dick & Jane with their VW




Dick & Jane Gang
I'm at the head of the table

After eating we rode with them for awhile and ended up in the canyon at Cooks Corners. We spotted David and his buddy on their baggers. I heard all about David’s bike being in Baggers Magazine. The license plate really made me a proud Flat to meet him.  

Me & David G.



Done with the biker ritual socializing, it was time to get back on the road again, and after a few moments of shuffling things around in the rear of her bike, KT pulled out some junk in her trunk and turned around and shouted, “SURPRISE”! There she was standing with an awesome tricked out trike. She told me she rented it from ACME Renta Trike For Flats! All custom, with screaming pipes.  Move over David, just kidding bro...

Even though I didn’t mind, riding behind KT Did‘s ass, I really wanted to check one of these out. My legs were feeling a bit stiff, so we did a couple of minor mods with tape, and I also had to wear a brain bucket…

Before & After
Packing It In Behind KT and ACME Renta Trike For Flats (with mods)

  

Helmet Mug Shot

 When we got back to the digs, MakLayLay came out to greet us. She looked just beautiful after a day in the sun. I showed her what I got and she wasn’t too happy. She couldn’t go riding cause she didn’t bring her biker clothes. KT just curled her lip up at her and called her a “whiney hulaylay” under her breath., “like she would ride anyway”, she said. I still don’t think KT likes her much, but she is still okay with her. Can't blame her when she was only expecting me. She gave her a drink and handed her the remote. The OC Housewives were getting botox and she wanted to know all about it. So KT and I went out and relaxed before we ended the day.

I woke up the next morning to KT yelling “KSU time“! Grrrr…..I thought she hated getting up early! Helmet on, we went up the canyon and onto the side of the road to take photos of the riders coming in for a breast cancer awareness ride.  My favorite kind of event! I got to enjoy my V-8 and donuts with KT in the morning and listening to her talk of how she wants to meet all her blogger friends. It was nice sitting on our trunks eating our junk waiting for the ride to come by. Just a couple of trikers hanging out roadside...



The ride from AFHD along Santiago Canyon




Lynda W.

 

Me & Lynda saying hello

Her friend Lynda pulled over when she saw me. She couldn’t wait to meet me and put me in her breastessesss and she gave me those big girls hug! I am trying to be a gentleman biker around these chicks, makes a flat want to cry.  Except KT may be on to me a bit, I don't think the others know about my past yet.  Don't be a rat on Flat.

All day long at Cooks we partied and had fun. I met Joy and Karlene and their gang, Lauren the body builder, Roy & Carolyn, the bartender, some great tattooed chicks, and of course Lynda. Even met Steve who made my Jack Shit t-shirt. Every time I turned a flat head I met someone. I got to watch a fashion for asses show and watched the wet t-shirt contest too. KT said since I had to stay and watch that… she would have to stay to watch the fireman’s hot bod contest too. Disco & Lauren compared bellies and an old guy got nearly naked on stage… kinda something I would like to forget…sshhhhshhh, don’t tell KT, I think she wanted to see what she had to look forward to… sad to see her face when that all happened . All she could say is “I have to blow that one out on a ride”! Think she said it a few times too…. Here are some more pics of my girlzzz.

I tried to drink a beer but KT took me away from it after awhile...

After a day in the hot sun, I wondered why I wore laminated jeans. Just doesn’t feel good after awhile. I was getting all sticky and decided to tell KT time to go.  So after a day of auctions, celebrities, watching T & A, seeing Disco fall off the stage, and giving to the Susan G. Komen Foundation for the best place to lay my Flat head…its time to get outta here.

We get to the trikes...  “Hey Girl!”, KT says smiling. “Flat, meet Marilyn MonRoad”, a good friend of mine, she belongs to the BBB Doll Gang” (Biker Bitch Barbies). “I read your blog and wanted to meet you”, she says. I stood there and couldn’t move my legs, or my arms, … I felt like a flat man waiting for a lamination melt down. I was wishing I had VD or Willy D around at this moment for some man junk talk.  KT had to shove her boot at me to snap out of it. “Nice to meet such a beautiful doll", I say.  KT then tells me we are all going over to the house and MonRoad is riding with me.

Marilyn MonRoad

KT just smiled with that shitty grin she makes, and off to the house we went without a second thought of what might lie ahead…